


Context

by Emcee



Series: Deadlier If You Mean It [2]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Emotional Sherlock, F/M, Friends With Benefits, Mental Breakdown, Mutually Unrequited, Post-Episode: s04e03 The Final Problem, Spoilers, Unresolved Romantic Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-17
Updated: 2017-01-17
Packaged: 2018-09-18 04:42:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9368471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emcee/pseuds/Emcee
Summary: After Eurus' final problem is done, Sherlock explains to John the full context of the test with Molly Hooper.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Petra.

"It is what it is."

Sherlock turned away from John. There were so many things going through his mind. What was to happen with Eurus. What she had done.

What he had done.

What he had done. Sherlock felt a pang in his chest at what had happened. He had tried so hard to shut off that part of himself. But both Mycroft and Eurus had pointed out he had been the emotional one.

Those emotions were what Eurus had so enjoyed playing with.

Sherlock looked to John, eyeing his soaked form. "You should get home. Get dry. After all of this, I'm sure you want to see your daughter."

John frowned, brow furrowing. "What about you? Aren't you coming with me? 221B is a crater. Mrs Hudson's at my place with Rosie..."

Sherlock shook his head. "There are still... Repercussions. Things I need to deal with."

"Molly." John sighed deeply, pulling his blanket tighter around himself. "What are you going to say to her? My psychopath sister told me she would blow you up unless I toyed with your emotions? Stirred up all those unrequited feelings just to make you suffer?"

Sherlock blinked. He frowned deeply. "Is _that_ what you think happened?"

John cocked his head. "Sherlock, I was there. That's what happened."

Sherlock open to the door to the car Mycroft's cronies had provided, slipping into the back. He leaned back in the seat. John got in beside him. "John, as ever, you see, but you do not observe."

John groaned, running a hand through his wet hair. "All right. And what exactly was I suppose to _observe_?"

"Then you were hardly the only one. Mycroft got it wrong as well." Sherlock wrapped his arms around himself.

"What did he get wrong, Sherlock?"

The words seem to stick in his throat. Then, it was hardly the worst thing he'd been forced to say that day. "John, whoever is _in_ the coffin doesn't write what's on it."

John stared at Sherlock unmoving. After a moment he blinked. "What you're saying..."

Sherlock shut his eyes. It was the only way he'd be able to admit it without threat of a bomb. "I'm saying the person in the coffin wasn't someone who loved _me_."

"It was someone _you_ loved." John put his head in his hands. "It was never about Molly saying it to you. It was about you saying it to Molly."

"Did you think I couldn't come up with a thousand ways to get Molly to say those words without it being a matter of emotion? No, Eurus wanted me flayed to the raw nerve. She needed... She needed me to say it. I was always the emotional one. And she knew it."

John's gaze narrowed on Sherlock. "What else did she know, Sherlock?"

Sherlock shifted, looking out the window. He felt his muscles tensing.

"Sherlock."

"This is hardly appropriate," Sherlock grumbled.

" _Sherlock_."

Sherlock huffed out a breath between grit teeth, rolling his eyes. "My relationship with Molly Hooper has been... Different... Since, you know."

"When you jumped." John bobbed his head. "Did you two...?"

"I was high on adrenaline. She had just helped me pull off my deception. I was... Alone. Except for her. And she understood me. In a way no one else did. And I..." Sherlock shrugged.

"Just that once?"

Sherlock cringed. "There..." He drew out the word as long as he could. "Was one other time. After your wedding. I suspect it was why her engagement floundered. She most likely thinks I was high on cocaine at the time now."

John sighed. "It just happened twice."

"And.... Another time after that." Sherlock shifted uncomfortably, ruffling his hair. "After Mary."

John rubbed his temples. "Let me get this straight, Sherlock: You've developed a habit of shagging Molly Hooper whenever you're feeling vulnerable?"

"I wouldn't put it like that," Sherlock grumbled. "It is accurate, but I wouldn't put it like that."

John began to chuckle. His shoulders then shook. He laughed so hard, there were tears in his eyes. "We thought Molly was going to get blown up... And she thought you were looking for a pity shag."

Sherlock looked to the man inappropriately falling into fits of laughter. He then joined him, shaking his head and laughing. "I thought... I thought she was going to die... And she thought I just wanted comfort...."

Sherlock kept laughing. He laughed and laughed and then the shaking of his body wasn't from laughter. He was gasping for breath, hunched over. He didn't cry. He wasn't sure he was ready to allow himself to do that, but he felt it threatening with every moment.

He needed to get out. He needed air. He slammed his hand on the back of the driver's seat repeatedly.

"Stop, stop!" John shouted. Sherlock wasn't sure if he was talking to the driver or to Sherlock himself.

Once the car came to a stop, Sherlock wrenched the door open, climbing out. He paced on the side of the road, hands in front of his face.

Eurus.

Victor.

Molly.

Moriarty spoke of the final problem. Sherlock thought he _was_ the final problem. If it weren't for his attachment to Victor, Eurus wouldn't have killed him. If it weren't for his neglect of Eurus, maybe she would have been reachable.

And Molly....

Molly...

So many things unsaid.

But they were said now.

Said under duress, but said all the same.

And once they'd come tumbling from his lips it had been so easy to say them again.

But then to hear Molly's heartbreak at saying them back to him.

You couldn't untell a secret.

Could you unbreak a heart?

"Sherlock!" John grabbed hold of his shoulders, stopping him from moving. "Sherlock, calm down."

"All of this, John... Everything that's happened. Everything Eurus did. Everything she is. Everything I am. Everything I did."

"It is what it is," John said once again. He drew Sherlock into a hug.

Sherlock bowed his head, placing it on John's shoulder. He huffed out a breath. "I can't take it back. I can't just tell her she was going to be blown up if I didn't make her say it. That doesn't make it better. That doesn't change what happened."

John nodded, touching the back of Sherlock's neck. "She wouldn't have said it if she didn't think you meant it. And Molly Hooper can see through your bullshit."

Sherlock pulled away, taking a deep, controlled breath. "Women were never really my area."

"Well." John shrugged. "Can see why. You have an uncanny ability to find ones who can get one over on you." He jerked his head towards the car. "Come on then. I'd like to see my daughter. And you have a conversation to get to. One I think is long overdue."


End file.
